Alright, here are the facts:
on Tuesday 31 January at 22:00, after a huge Cheese joint, I decided to take a short break from smoking cannabis.
How short, I still don't know. For sure I am not going to last too long. Maybe 3-4 days, maybe a week, maybe 2... not longer, I know it already.....
I just like it TOO MUCH!
And now the explanation:
I started smoking cannabis in 1989. Since then, I have smoked cannabis EVERY DAY, except for:
- 7 days in March 1998 (I was in the hospital)
- 14 days in October 1999 (I was in the hospital for 7 days, and feeling like shit for the next 7)
- 7 days in March 2011 (during a bad bronchitis I decided to see if I was able to stop, just to prove myself to myself)
So, let's put this down to the math:
in the last 22 years I have been smoking weed for approximately 8035 days, and NOT smoking it for 28 days (or 0,3% of the days).
I am not far from reaching the 40 years old milestone.
I think it's time to prove myself that I smoke cannabis because I like it, and not because it's just the norm in my life.
And the best way to do that it's to stop for a little bit every once in a while.
I decided to start this blog-entry to share my experience and my feelings with the community. After all, nobody can understand better than my fellow tokers....
And now on with the chronicles:
DAY 1 - waking up knowing that the only breakfast will be a cigarette and a glass of orange juice is not really appealing. But I am determined to do this. The day goes on, I am really busy at the office and I manage to get to lunchtime without too much stress.
After lunch I really struggle, so I allow myself 2 cigarettes in a row.
My colleagues don't know I have stopped weed, and I am not telling anyone for the moment. Avoiding the subject is the best way to not think about it too much.
The rest of the afternoon goes by fast, but then comes the hardest part: the evening.
I eat a nice dinner, play with my kids, then go out in the garden for a cigarette. I am really, really close to giving up. But I don't.
When the kids are in bed I try to distract myself with iPad, TV, iPod, iMac, and Nintendo. It's not enough. I am literally freaking out. My heartbeat is slightly faster than normal, and the palms of my hands are a little sweaty.
Who said weed is not addictive? LOL
Time to go to sleep. I smoke one more cigarette, then lay in bed wide awake for a couple of hours before I finally pass out.
Hard day. Really hard day. But it's normal, it's day 1.
DAY 2 - I woke up less stressed than yesterday. It's all in the mind... ;-)
Even though it's -7 degrees outside, I decide to take my Ducati because today it's the last dry, sunny day of this week. Tomorrow snow will come.
I have an appointment at the Coffeeshop in the Haarlemmerstraat, and I am really scared that I am not going to resist temptation. As soon as I arrive the sweet smell of weed penetrates my nose, and my soul. My appointment rolls 3 joints in 30 minutes, but I don't even blink. After 15 minutes I walk outside and smoke a cigarette. Now everybody start asking me why I am not smoking joints, so I have to let the news go public. LOL
After the Coffeeshop I go to the office. There nobody knows yet, and this makes it easier on me. I smoke 2 cigarettes in 20 minutes, then dive into my work: writing articles for the new issue of Canamo Magazine, and helping the designers produce new banners for Powder Feeding.
It's now past 15:00 and I am doing a lot better than yesterday. Hopefully tonight will be also a little easier than last night....
Tomorrow I'll let you know.
And now let's talk money: who wants to bet on how long I am going to last? Who's gonna be the official "bookie"?
Can I bet 10 Euros on myself for a 7-days-clean strike? How are the quotes?